One step at a time

I haven't been posting for a while, and I had an idea and thought it would good if I posted it.

For a while I have been wondering where God is leading me. Sometimes I wish that I could see ahead, and see what God has laid out for me and what the plan is. Sometimes I wish that there was a clear goal that I could aim for and when I reached I would be able to know that I completed this race.

But then I think a little more and am starting to realize that maybe if I saw the end goal, maybe I would not be able to accept myself in that role, or maybe I would think that that particular thing is too big for me and dig in my heels and stay where I am at.
Maybe I would be scared, I would consider that place uncomfortable and too difficult.
Or maybe this race wasn't created to have a finish line.

 I remember biking home from school at a kid. It was quite a long bike ride, but the freedom was worth it. When it was hot or especially windy I would focus on the barn in the distance that would stand out clearly. It was right after a curve in the road, so for a long while it seemed to sit in the middle of the road. I knew that when I got to that place I was almost home. So I would hurry to get there.  At that point I could relax, slow down a little and enjoy the last couple kilometers around the block.

Maybe this race wasn't created with a finish line. We don't know where it is, we are called to keep on running, and run with all that we've got. The is no point that gives us permission to slow down, relax and enjoy the last couple of kilometers around the block. We can enjoy the moment along the road, take time to take it all in and finish this race with so much excitement that we would keep on running if it wasn't over yet.
Maybe it is our tendency to hold on to what we have, save our energy when, God does not look at who crosses into heaven with the most things, but he who crosses into heaven jumping up and down, dancing around, because they know there is a great big crowd coming after them.

I think that it is better that I don't know yet. I know what I am called to right now. I am a student, I am a called to learn,  and in every capacity that I have the privileged to do I will do it to my best to glorify God.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrew 12:1-2