Who God is

God the Father has often been associated with being sovereign, in control of everything, above all. It gives me a certain sense of freedom to consider that the God that I love and I worship would be sovereign over everything.
My emotions, my struggles will never change who God is. 
My opinion of how thing ought to have been done, how things turned out and what God should have done will have no impact on who God is. 

If I am angry at God, that cannot change who he is.  
If I am lonely, that will not change who God is. 
If I am distracted, that will not change who God is. 
If I am overwhelmed, that will not change who God is.
If I struggle to believe, that will not change who God is. 
If I am happy and joyful, that will not change who God is.
If I am tired, that will not change who God is. 
If I am hungry, if I am needy, if I am independent, that will not change who God is.

My perception of who God is, whether be good, or be negative, cannot change who God already is.
I can struggle with Him, because I know I will not break Him. I can fight until I understand a little more about who He is, and in that process, I am sure I will find out a little bit more about who He has made me to be. 

¹¹ Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,
    we will also live with him;
¹² if we endure,
    we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
    he will also disown us;
¹³ if we are faithless,
    he remains faithful,
    for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:11-13

It is a roller coaster.

I am hanging on with all I got,
the thread of sanity is still intact, barely.
grasped by my hand so firmly
connected to the one true hope.
Jesus, I am hanging onto you
Trusting that you will pull me through
give me the words to say and the love to show
because you're the only thing I'm sure of right now.

Words that flow from my thoughts, the last couple of days have been quite an interesting bunch. I feel that quite a few people I know have been going through a little of the unexpected lately.

Sunday morning at church didn't go quite as expected, and although I am fine, I still worried a lot through it all.
Then later I found out that, that afternoon, a good friend of mine fell  by a waterfall while hiking and by the grace of God, didn't break anything. Caused a lot people to worry and has quite a bit of pain to deal with, but he is alright.
Today I found out that the youth group I am working with will be taking a different route. A sudden death that we must work through as a group. I've never lead a group during a time like this, I know that I am working with great people, but it still has me wondering.

I'm hanging on. It feels a little like a roller coaster, filled with challenges and miracle, but my God is bigger. It's one of the most profound things that I know. God is bigger.